Creating an Anchor

One powerful strategy to help teens and young children manage high anxiety or dysregulation is to create what's known as an 'anchor.'

An anchor is a positive memory or visualisation that the child can use to quickly regain a sense of safety, calm and contentment during stressful moments.

The process begins by guiding the child to recall a specific time when they felt deeply relaxed, connected and at peace. This could be a memory of joyfully playing with a pet, feeling secure cuddled up with a parent or caregiver, or engaging in a hobby or activity they find inherently soothing like jumping on a trampoline or drawing.

Have the child describe this positive memory in vivid detail using all five senses. What did they see, hear, smell? How did their body feel - relaxed, warm, energised? Recreating the multi-sensory experience allows them to essentially re-live and re-embody those feelings of safety and contentment.

Once the memory is firmly established, explain that they can use this as an 'anchor' whenever they notice themselves becoming anxious, overwhelmed or upset. By quickly shifting their awareness to their anchor memory or visualisation, it can help regulate their breathing, slow racing thoughts, and regain a sense of calm.

You may need to practice this technique repeatedly, providing prompts like, "Think about how warm and safe you felt cuddling with Dad," or "Go to your happy place on the trampoline," whenever you notice the child's anxiety escalating. Over time, this will strengthen the neural pathways, making the positive associations more automatic.

Eventually, simply saying ‘Let’s go trampolining’, may be enough to quickly transport the child into their felt-sense of peace and security. An anchor builds resilience by giving youth a personalised tool to self-soothe and re-centre when life feels challenging or overwhelming.

What’s your anchor? How might you harness your own anchor in stormy times?