The Biological Imperative of Co-Regulation: Supporting our Young People

As educators and school counsellors, we focus on the cognitive aspects of learning and development. Emerging research in neuroscience, particularly Stephen Porges' Polyvagal Theory, sheds light on a crucial biological need that underpins our ability to learn, grow, and form healthy relationships: co-regulation.

A little about Polyvagal Theory

Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, offers a revolutionary perspective on the human nervous system and its role in our social behaviours, emotional regulation, and overall wellbeing. At its core, the theory identifies three distinct states of the autonomic nervous system:

1. The ventral vagal state - CONNECT (social engagement) ‘I feel safe and secure’

2. The sympathetic state - PROTECT (fight or flight)

3. The dorsal vagal state - EJECT (disassociation/flop or drop/freeze)

These intuitive responses, that we tend to feel in the above order when we respond to stress, have a neurophysiological underpinning.

The ventral vagal nervous complex wires us for connection.

The separate sympathetic nervous complex that wires us for protection.

The third dorsal vagal nervous complex that wires us for ejection.

The theory suggests that these are hard wired in to us evolutionarily.

Co-Regulation: A Biological Imperative

Perhaps one of the most ground breaking aspects of Polyvagal Theory is its identification of co-regulation as a biological imperative. According to Porges, co-regulation is not merely a psychological preference or social nicety—it is a fundamental need that must be met to sustain life, akin to our need for food, water, and shelter.

Co-regulation refers to the process by which we regulate our emotional and physiological states through interactions with others. It's a dance of mutual influence, where the nervous systems of two individuals synchronise, helping both parties achieve a state of calm and safety.

The Impact of Missed Co-Regulation in Childhood

 When children miss opportunities for co-regulation, the effects can be far-reaching and long-lasting. These missed opportunities can stem from various sources:

- Absent or emotionally unavailable caregivers

- Traumatic experiences that disrupt the ability to form secure attachments

- Environments that do not support healthy emotional expression

The consequences of these missed opportunities may manifest in adult relationships. Adults who lacked sufficient co-regulation in childhood may struggle wit

- Difficulty forming and maintaining close relationships

- Challenges in managing stress and emotions

- A persistent sense of unsafety or disconnection from others

It's crucial to understand that these difficulties are not merely psychological—they reflect a biological need that has not been adequately met.

The Role of Trauma in Co-Regulation

Trauma plays a significant role in our ability to co-regulate. As Sladjana Djordjevic pointedly states, "Trauma, either in experiences of commission (acts of harm) or omission (absence of care), makes co-regulation dangerous and interrupts the development of our co-regulatory skills."

Traumatic experiences can fundamentally alter how an individual's nervous system responds to others, making the very act of co-regulation feel threatening. This biological response to trauma can create a self-perpetuating cycle, where the individual struggles to form the very connections that could help heal the initial wound.

Cultivating Co-Regulation Skills

As educators and school counsellors, we have a unique opportunity to help students develop and strengthen their co-regulation skills. Here are some strategies to consider:

1. Start with the Outer Reality

When working to improve co-regulation skills, it's essential to begin by grounding in outer reality. This approach is particularly crucial for individuals who have experienced trauma, as it helps establish a sense of safety in the present moment.

Encourage students to engage with their five senses:

- What do they see around them?

- What sounds can they hear?

- What textures can they feel?

- Are there any distinct smells in their environment?

- If appropriate, what tastes are they aware of?

This grounding in sensory experience helps activate the ventral vagal state, promoting a sense of safety and openness to connection.

2. Gradually Explore Inner Realities

 Once a foundation of outer awareness is established, gently guide students to explore their inner experiences. This might include:

- Noticing physical sensations in the body

- Identifying emotions without judgement

- Observing thoughts as they arise

It's crucial to move slowly and respect each individual's pace. For some students, particularly those with trauma histories, inner exploration can feel overwhelming or threatening.

 3. Model Co-regulation

 We can model co-regulation in our interactions with students. This involves:

- Maintaining a calm and steady presence

- Responding to students' emotional states with empathy and understanding

- Using tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language to convey safety and acceptance

4. Prioritise Relationship Building

Invest time in building strong, trusting relationships with students. A sense of safety and connection with educators and counsellors can provide a foundation for students to explore co-regulation skills.

Finally…

As educators and school counsellors, we have the privilege and responsibility to help shape the nervous systems of the next generation. By prioritising co-regulation, we're teaching students how to connect, how to feel safe in their bodies and with others, and how to navigate the complexities of human relationships.

In doing so, we're not only addressing a crucial biological need but also laying the groundwork for healthier, more connected communities in the future. The ripple effects of this work extend far beyond the classroom, potentially transforming how our students approach relationships, manage stress, and engage with the world around them for years to come.