Riding the Waves: A Workshop on Navigating Endings in School Counselling

As school counsellors and psychologists, we often find ourselves deeply invested in the lives of our students. We journey with them through their challenges, celebrate their triumphs, and provide a steady hand of support throughout their academic careers. But what happens when these relationships come to an end? How do we, as professionals, navigate the complex emotions and professional responsibilities that come with endings?

These questions formed the core of our recent workshop, "Riding the Waves of Relationships with Students," where we explored the crucial topic of endings in our field.

Setting the Stage

The workshop began with a thoughtful approach to creating a safe and conducive environment for introspection. Participants were seated in a half-circle, fostering a sense of community and openness. We acknowledged that this process might resonate differently with each individual, and that was perfectly okay. In fact, we encouraged curiosity about our own reactions, reminding ourselves of the Latin root 'Cura,' meaning care, cure, and healing.

To set the tone, we invited participants to keep themselves emotionally safe and to notice their reactions without judgment. We even touched on Eckhart Tolle's wisdom, asking, "How would I experience this if I didn't add thought to it?" This simple yet profound question helped create a mindful atmosphere for our exploration.

The Power of Story

As the facilitator, I shared a personal story that encapsulated the essence of our workshop theme. I painted a vivid picture of a Year 12 graduation ceremony, where I found myself surrounded by students I had supported throughout their secondary school journey. The story touched on various aspects of our work – from crisis intervention and mental health support to working with international students far from home.

This narrative served as a powerful reminder of the depth and breadth of our relationships with students, and how these connections inevitably come to an end. It highlighted the mixed emotions we often experience at these junctures – pride, sadness, hope, and sometimes, a sense of unfinished business.

Acknowledging the Impact

A poignant quote from Dr. Naomi Rachel Remen set the stage for our deeper discussion:

“The expectation that we can be immersed in suffering and loss daily and not be touched by it is as unrealistic as expecting to be able to walk through water without getting wet."

Exploring Different Endings

We delved into the various types of endings we encounter in our work:

1. The "fairytale" ending, where our interventions lead to clear, positive outcomes.

2. Situations where students may want to end the counselling relationship before we feel the work is complete.

3. Managing potential co-dependency and knowing when to encourage independence.

4. Abrupt endings, where students discontinue sessions without explanation.

We discussed practical strategies for managing these scenarios, including the guideline of giving clients one week's notice for every month of work when we know an ending is approaching.

The Power of Reflection

A significant portion of the workshop was dedicated to a guided reflection exercise. Participants were invited to consider a specific ending they had experienced with a student. Through a series of prompts, they explored their emotions, actions, and the impact of the experience.

This exercise was enhanced by the use of symbolic imagery. Drawing on Carl Jung's idea that "Symbols are the language of the Unconscious," and Pearson's notion that "Symbols allow our own deeper wisdom to emerge," participants were encouraged to select images that resonated with their experiences.

Sharing and Learning

Following the reflection, participants broke into small groups to share their insights. This peer-to-peer exchange proved invaluable, allowing for deeper processing of the experience and the opportunity to learn from others' perspectives.

The Wider Context

We concluded by discussing the broader implications of our work. A quote from Barnardo's 2020 report highlighted the need for emotional support and self-reflection not just for counsellors, but for all educators:

“Teachers need this too -- a carved out space to reflect, unpack, seek emotional support, self-reflect and build meta-cognition."

This led to a broader discussion about the importance of supportive supervision in schools and the need for ongoing emotional support for all staff working with students, especially those that are privy to traumatic stories and at risk of the cumulative impacts of vicarious trauma. I shared the development of my Psychoemotional Strength Program and its preventative

Moving Forward

As we wrapped up the workshop, participants left with a renewed appreciation for the complexity of endings in our work. They gained tools for self-reflection, and a deeper understanding of the emotional impact of our roles.

The workshop underscored the importance of creating space for these discussions in our professional development. By acknowledging and exploring the challenges of endings, we can better serve our students, support our colleagues, and sustain ourselves in this vital work.

As we continue to "ride the waves" of our relationships with students, may we do so with greater awareness, compassion, and resilience.

If you’d like me to facilitate this workshop with you team, feel free to connect: cathy@refreshreset.com.au